Era of Confusion
by Akuneisa
Summary: [Elricest] A collection of OneShots and Drabbles centered mainly on our two favorite brothers. Rating just to be safe.
1. The Three R's

**Author's Notes: **Ugh, _because I'm **such** a procrastinator, and because I'm just... stupid, I decided to come out with a series of drabbles. I know, I know. Un-original. I'm suffering dreaded writer's block on like... every story. _

**Disclaimer: **_I have a lot of spontaneous and crazy-crack emotional angsty... smutty fluffy types of ideas, but in no way shape or form do I own Hagaren. _

**Warnings: **_This is the first drabble of the collection. I have no idea how many there are going to be, but suffice it to say I have a lot of space on my hard-drive that needs some filling. Bare with me, please. Of course there's going to be some Elricest (mostly, as a matter of fact) and maybe a few other pairings. I'm like... halfway asleep right now, but I had to write this one. I got this idea from an icon I saw on LJ and I have to admit, I loved the concept. In case the phrases I use belong to anyone in particular, please let me know. Sorry in advance for any confusion._

**Please READ THIS: **_I only want to say this once, so that I can't be blamed for misunderstandings. Some of these are LONGER than drabble size, so I'm officially calling this a collection of Drabbles **AND** One-Shots. Hopefully not all of them are One-Shot length. Anyway..._

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_xx The Three 'R's. xx_

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When Edward Elric made the choice of a lifetime to trade himself in for his brother's ten-year old body, there were three main reasons why he did it. He referred to them as the "Three R's." Up until that moment, those reasons were what kept him going. They were the sole motivation behind his determination and drive; the reason why he never gave up.

Restore Alphonse, Redeem Myself, Return to Grace.

It was like his parody of the golden rule. Something that only he could concentrate on. Something that couldn't be manipulated by any force he encountered. Ed would admit on occasion that he had doubts of his motive. There was guilt that pushed and coaxed him along, and living with a brother who, in essence, wasn't really there was all that much more of a persuasion.

The first 'R' was to restore his little brother. There was nothing to figure out there; living without someone to comfort physically, someone to hold when they cried or were frightened... he missed that. And beyond that, there were other reasons. Al was basically the only family he had, and did not plan on taking family photos with a giant suit of armor. It was ridiculous, he knew, to people when he told them that Alphonse was the younger brother.

_But he's so much bigger than you are!_

Outrage came instantly then, and couldn't be contained by anything _but _those large metal arms. For Al's sake as well, he knew he had to bring him back into a flesh body. Only fractionally could he comprehend how horrible loss of feeling would be; he could no longer feel in his right arm or left leg. But at least he could sleep, eat, breath... _live_ like a normal person! Only his darkest dreams and imagination could provide some sort of example for how empty his brother really must've felt. Those were the reasons he wanted to bring Al back.

The second 'R' was redemption. Guilt overrode everything he had ever done. With every movement of his flesh fingers and every flick of his gaze to the left, he felt the burning sensation of a sinner without hope. He had resolved that making things right again would be the only way to free his conscience. Because he had done what only few in the past had done; he had played God, and in turn God had damned him for it. He resented being like his father and his whore, and being like his teacher... Edward couldn't sleep sometimes with the contemptuous feeling for himself that he felt. He hated his very being for turning out just as his father had.

It had all been a mistake.

The third and final 'R' was his peace. His "Returning to Grace." With the other two "Rs", everything else would fall into place. His mind would be free again, and he would be able to die without regrets. He would know in his heart that Alphonse could start a life again without a brother who was damned from birth, and be able to live on as a healthy child. With Ed there, he would only cloud Al's mind with the wrong things.

They were the reasons for the determined mind-set he had acquired over the past half-decade. They were the reasons of why no matter how many times the military, the homunculus, and his own guilt pushed him down, he never stayed down. He always found a way back onto his feet, with his little brother beside him.

And when he pressed his palms flat on his chest, when the blue, hazy light filtered up around him and his world was a past memory already, when he said good bye to familiar things to finalize the deal, he knew he had done what was right.

However, what he had _not _expected was to be living even after that. To have a beating heart pounding in the cavities of his chest even so it had seemed like equivalency. To have woken up in a scared, withdrawn, war-shocked city by the name of Munich.

Thus were the things that had seemed to slip past him, and thus were the outcome of his trust in the Three R's.

xx owari xx

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**Closing Note: **_Okay, so that's drabble number one. I really hope it was satisfactory. They should be getting better, but I'm currently in the process of moving so it may be a little difficult at first. :is having to make constant trips to the library to keep up with emailing: _

_  
Anyway, you guys know the drill. Oh, how I love comments! (And Stephen King Novels! -and movies with Rob Lowe in them- )Thanks! _


	2. On a Good Day

**Author's Note: **_Okay, drabble number two. I'm a little short on ideas, so I would really appreciate it if you guys would give me some code words. Two verbs and two nouns, I think it was. I've seen a few people do stuff like this before. Heh. _

**Disclaimer: **_I really, really love Fullmetal, and if offered to me, I would take all licensing rights to it. Believe it! (Naruto Moment)_

**Warning: **_Mild Elricest. Language. Maybe Alternate Time space thing. Have fun with it, kiddos!_

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__xx On a Good Day xx_

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It was a very large hunk of metal, Ed decided. It was an _extremely_ large hunk of metal. He shook his head fervently, and turned his back to his brother. "No fucking way, Al. You are not, in any way, shape or form getting me on that damn machine. It hasn't even been tested for safety yet! How do we know it won't just... fall ap--" 

To put an abrupt stop to Edward's constant on flow of negativity, Alphonse slapped a hand across his mouth and gave him a kind smile. "Now, now, brother. You've done pretty much every life-threatening thing and still manage to be alive. I think you can handle a roller coaster." He cast a hopeful look Ed's way, and let his mind travel to the happenings of the past four hours at the county fair. It had been so sweet how much Ed had put towards looking cool winning his brother those lame prizes at the rigged carnival games. Still, he wanted to look like the big shot-winner type, and impress Al along with all the people in line behind them.

They hadn't really been on many rides yet, just walking around taking in the smell of corn dogs, cotton candy, the scent of rag-tag machines that were running on their last legs. Faintly from each ride they could hear screams of pleasured fright fading away into the disappearing sun. The day was becoming later, and as a final act of determination, Alphonse was not going to let them leave without riding a roller coaster together.

Ed sighed a hefty sigh as soon as his little brother's hand left his mouth. "Well, I guess we... _could_. But you have to promise me that if I die, you won't let that bastard Mustang steel our house away and sell it for military funding!" His golden eyes shone in that way that made Al's skin crawl with fear. It was like everything around them had slowed, and for some reason the elder male was actually agreeing with something for once.

Alphonse smiled widely and launched himself at his Nii-san. "Oh good! I promise you won't die, brother!" The line between them and the roller coaster was dissipating fast and they had to pay attention if they wanted on the next ride. Al stole a quick kiss on the cheek from Edward and grabbed his hand pulling him onto the large machine.

Their shoes clanged against the metal steps leading up to the carts, and a surge of energy rushed through the both of them. The man operating the ride showed them to an old cart near the end where the paint was chipping. When they were seated, the same man drove the rider's attention towards him and he cleared his throat in the annoying way some people do.

"If you have any items that may come off easily with heavy speed, I suggest you please place them in the basket that's being passed around the seats. Any long hair must be tied back. We are not responsible for any accidents and/or deaths while riding our rides." He gave an extensive look towards where Al was sitting, and cocked an eyebrow disapprovingly at the length of the boys hair.

Bronze eyes faltered first and shyly Alphonse nudged Ed in the side. "Brother, did you bring a hair tie? I forgot to tie my hair back." It wasn't really a problem for them that Edward had long hair; his was always pulled back in a neat ponytail, brushed thoroughly and well kept. He was obsessive compulsive when it came to matters like that.

While the younger boy, in fact, enjoyed just keeping his hair down. It was more comfortable and sexier when it was splayed across a pillow. His had started even surpassing his big brother's when it came to length. Often, he was mistaken as a girl. Al gratefully took a small elastic band from Ed's fingers and pulled his hair back half-ass like.

The ride conductor had been waiting for that gesture and took it for an 'okay.' He stepped onto a large wooden platform where some buttons and levers were located, and an emergency kit placed in an oak box with a red cross on it. His bearded face crinkled as he tried to decipher the mechanical aspect of the ride. At length, he finally pulled back a lever with a dark orange ball atop it, and pressed a button of a like color.

With a sudden sort of abnormal jolt, the carts began to lurch forward, slowly at first but gaining speed quickly.

And, coincidently, it was the younger of the two of them that began to get second thoughts. "B-brother, I think maybe this was a mistake. I just remembered I was allergic to fast moving objects..." The cranking of the wheels that pushed the carts along was similar to the sound of nails on a chalkboard, and it only scared Al more. He had leaned forward suddenly, and clung to the safety bar clasped over their legs and laps. Behind all the noise of the commotion around them, he could hear Ed laughing as though it had been _his_ idea to get on this God-forsaken ride.

"I can't believe we waited so long to do this! It's a blast! We haven't even been on for half a minute, and already I'm having fun." Edward chuckled a little bit, and placed his hands over his face, by then cracking up insanely. That's exactly what he looked like; insane.

Then the speed increased even more. Al clenched his eyes shut against the pressure of the wind, and buried his head into his arms. He regretted more than anything his urgency to just get on the ride. Ed was having the time of his life, and he hadn't even wanted to do this. _Dammit, dammit, dammit. Why did I have to suggest something so blatantly stupid? _Then the words of the conductor were pounding in his head like a never-ending drum.

_We are not responsible for any accidents and/or deaths while riding our rides._

Oh, God.

It must've been obvious that this was scaring the bejesus out of Alphonse, because in a matter of seconds he felt two familiar, strong arms wrap around his waist and the smell of his brother filled him instantly. Ed had rested his head on Al's shoulder and was holding him close, just by means of unneeded protection. A little startled, Al bolted up and they stared at each other for a split second before the carts dipped dangerously low and they crashed against the safety bar. His face no longer hidden, the younger boy could feel his hair whipping across his face, and the clear, clean scent of higher air.

There was something about riding a roller coaster in the evening, with the summer sun fading against the horizon like a backdrop in an old fashioned painting... something that sent adrenaline rushing through you. And even better, they were together. Their laughter filled the cooling air as they hesitantly gripped the safety bar and each other's hands, both a little frightened, but finally having the time they had come to the fair to have.

About three minutes later, the ride came to a sickening halt, and Al felt himself slung over the back of the seat in front of him. The boy next to him was cackling maniacally and frankly it was scary. Ed had obviously had a good time after he had been sure that he had made Alphonse feel a bit better. In all honesty, it hadn't been that bad. I mean, Al thought he had lost half of his clothes somewhere between _here_ and_ there, _but at least the food had managed to stay in his stomach.

The people in the carts in front of them filed out slowly, all a bit shaken and stumbling down the stair on the 'exit' side. "Ngghhh, brother? Are we still in Amestris? Or has the house landed yet?" Al rolled over a little, bumping up against Ed's side. He couldn't feel his legs; they had turned into a disgusting gooey, jelly like mess.

Edward stood up quickly, over energized and ready for more. "C'mon, Al! It was amazing! Had enough already? Let's go ride something else!" A hand reached out and grasped Alphonse's light blue shirt collar, pulling him out of the cart and off the ride. When their feet were finally on the ground, the younger male fell to his knees, sobbing softly.

"Oh, thank you God! I lived! I lived!" He leaned down and kissed the soft earth. Recoiling a bit, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and leaned his back against the railing of another ride. Mind reeling, he sighed, eyes closed. "Never, ever again."

The older boy was standing over him, his hands placed complacently on his thin hips. He was intensively proud of his conduct during the ride. At first he had been scared out of his mind, but somehow it had all seemed worth it. "Well, do you want to get going then? I think we should get home and start dinner."

If he had been feeling better, Al would've loved to start an argument about exactly what "We" meant. Edward never helped make dinner. Just doddled around making excuses, and talking about this or that. It didn't bother him really, especially not now that half of his innards were gone and left somewhere on the tracks of the ride. He got to his feet, a little wobbly, but Ed moved quickly to support him. "You gonna be okay, Al?" He asked, pulling his arm around the other boy's shoulders.

Alphonse stopped walking and nudged his head in against Ed's chest. "I will be once I get my stomach back. Just... let's go home."

Ed smiled and ruffled his baby brother's hair. "Idiot," he muttered with detached affection.

Somewhere in the back of his head, Al smiled to himself. Aside from the growing pain in all of his muscles, he had learned something important that day. He found out that, on a good day, Edward was likely to be persuaded into just about anything.

And, he thought, that might come in handy in other circumstances.

xx owari xx

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**Closing Note: **_Well, there you have it folks. The real reason on why I'm a lunatic. Sorry if this one was a tad long. It's more like a one-shot, huh? Hm. Well, whatever. Hope you liked._

_Comment now, please? (chibi aru eyes) You'll make Al cry, and then no one will be happy! __(prods for reviews)_


	3. A Thousand Different Ways

**Author's Notes: **_I had a sort of odd idea today. It involved some kind of crack death fic. Now, death is something of a passion to me. I enjoy working with it in fanfcition. I don't often do character!deaths, but sometimes it's pretty fun. In any case, I still need more ideas. So remember, two verbs and two nouns. Those should give me some sort of inspiration._

**Disclaimer: **_If I owned Edward and Alphonse Elric, they would be doing very dirty things in front of a camera. Just because I said so. _

**Warnings: **_Character Death. Sort of Alternate Universe type of thing. _

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_xx A Thousand Different Ways xx _

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There are a thousand different ways to die, someone told me before. I can't remember whether it was before or after the whole... 'incident', but regardless, I never took it too much to heart. I thought, _Well, that's not neccesarilly true. For one life, there is one death. For one death, there is another life._ Equivalency, right?

Wrong.

Because when someone you love is gone, there isn't just "_one death_." There's a death everyday, because everyday you have to live with the acknowledgement that that person really _is_ gone, and is never, _ever _coming back. For each day that you remain alive is a day that they're not there to share a sunrise with you, or two listen to the sounds of the wind, or to discuss something that happened a week before. You begin to miss simple things like that, and you begin to feel like dying yourself.

For me, when my brother was gone, there wasn't just a death everyday. There was a death every _second_. Every second I would think about what he was missing, what there was we could be doing if only I wasn't such a hinderance. If only I wasn't such a selfish person. Every second I'm faced with the realization that there is no equivilency. I lost my brother, dammit, and what the hell do I have now? What the hell do I have to show for his loss?

Nothing. I'm desolate and alone once again.

I've only felt like that once before; the moment I knew we had failed. That rainy night when we tried and lost terribly at bringing our mother back. When that Gate took my only family that I knew away from me, somewhere into the depths of hell, or whatever you believe is beyond this world. For those peircing moments when I had to construct an idea to prevent from losing him, I had the most empty feeling I think any human can ever have. The moment when you realize you really _are_ alone. I hated it with everything I am, and that just drove me farther, and made me all that much eager to bring him back.

...in the end, we still failed.

In the end, our lives had faded into something like a thin mist that you can see through, but not enough to what's on the other side. We had lost, no... _I_ had lost everything we had ever worked for, because it wasn't enough. It's wrong of me to say that 'we' had lost everything because, after that one night, my brother had nothing else to lose. Losing himself was far more than what I had suffered or what I had lost.

That is, up until now. Now I'm just like a ghost, drifting from here to there without a true purpose or any reason to actually be alive. I know I could've prevented this, and therefore, it's still my fault.

I never really did understand the phrase. _The are a Thousand Different Ways to Die. _I think perhaps, _perhaps_, I do now. But in my life, there are never enough ways to die. Not when you've lost someone as close to you as me and Alphonse were to each other.

It really isn't enough to say that I lost half of my old, happy self, Because I never was happy, and those words don't do the whole ordeal justice. I haven't just lost half, I've lost every bit of myself that I ever had. I know how he felt now, and I have to deal with it... countless, endless times a day..

xx owari xx

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**Closing Note: **_I have to have some angst in this collection of drabbles. Might as well start with an AruDeath!Fic. A little moody, but I think you guys got the point. Or you could just call it utterly rediculous. XD Either way I'd probably agree. Don't forget to comment. _

_:large smile as she offers you cookies and tea: _

_And just as a random side note, I can't get a song by Dir en Grey out of my head. Hm, maybe it's this death mood I'm in. Anyway, farewell. _


	4. The Deeper End of a Gift

**Author's Note: **_This one was based on a very explicit dream I had about a month ago. I've been meaning to write something off it, but haven't found the time. I suppose now is better than ever. Though, be warned, I did a lot of editing to make sure it's um... "web appropriate." _

**Disclaimer: **_Alas, all I own is this smutty idea. :weeps in the corner:_

**Warnings: **_Elricest, actually a bit of heterosexual, too. AU, once again. Another Drabble that actually in length is more like a one-shot. Forgive me! Strip Clubs, and very erotic dancing. Nothing I'm going to describe though._

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_xx The Deeper End of a Gift xx_

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Determined to do something right for once, he had arranged by some miracle, reservations at the cities finest Gentlemen's Club. It was a birthday present for his little brother, and he hoped it wouldn't flop completely. Ed had screwed up for the past two years when it came to birthday gifts, and for once he was going to do something right that would be the perfect attention drawer for the young man. 

I mean, who wouldn't want to watch half naked girls shove their overly large breasts in your face and beg for tens and twenties to be shoved down their G-strings while they parade around poles that extended into the ceiling.

Well, in all honesty and bitter reality, Ed had to admit to himself that that kind of thing just didn't do anything for him. It absolutely disgusted him in fact. However, he had never consulted Al about this particular thing, not wanting to ruin the surprise. Al probably had his own secret fetishes and fantasies, kept nice and tight in his own mind, and masked behind a lovely, sincere, kind and innocent face.

But he was a guy! Weren't all guys supposed to be the same? They all got horny at the sight of some leg or a little bit of breast... that's how guys worked. The two of them never really talked about sex or masturbation or "getting off" or anything like that. But Edward was positive that Alphonse would be very much pleasantly surprised with his birthday night's gift.

He wasn't even that worried about how he himself would be able to sit through an entire three hours of slutty girls doing what they're paid to do. A while back he had come up with the only sane, rational conclusion to prove why he didn't get a hard on by watching something like that; he simply wasn't into girls. In a sense, he was a bit asexual, seeing as how the only person he really loved was close enough to have, but still too far out of his reach.

It didn't matter, after tonight his little brother would go to bed happy and actually have a sex drive for once. Who knows? Maybe he might even get enough balls to ask someone out for a change. This year; Strip Club. Next year... Brothel. A legal one...

It kept the wheels in Edward's head turning.

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They got out of the blue Honda at around a quarter to eleven. The blindfold was still tied taut over Alphonse's lovely bronze eyes, and he was nothing more than excited. He had all these thoughts of where they might be going, dozens of scenarios playing in his head. Maybe just a nice dinner together, going to the movies, going to pick out a movie... something innocent. 

Pale hands rose to untie the secure knot, and Ed bit his bottom lip when their shoulders bumped. "I wasn't too sure what to do this year for you, Al. But hopefully you'll be too distracted to even notice." He said quietly. Dread was filling his stomach and quickly growing. He had no business being in a place like this, but he wanted his brother to have a good birthday, so he would stay.

"What are you talking about, brother? I'm sure it'll be fine. I keep telling you; no matter what you get for me or what we do for my birthday, I'm going to love it because it came from you." The blindfold fell off and instantly Al turned to see Ed first. Their eyes met for a split second until the older brother looked away, unable to handle the side effects of the soft scrutiny Al had no idea he was giving. "Seriously," the younger continued, and nodded for emphasis. "I'm going to love whatever is behind me, in whatever building it is! Because it came--"

"Yeah, yeah, just turn around already!" Edward had to endure this speech every year, and he didn't plan on wasting the night's precious moments chattering and embarrassing himself by blushing whenever Al said the word "love." He grabbed his brother's left shoulder and turned him straight around so he could face what was _actually_ behind him.

And it was a damn good thing that Al's back was turned to Ed because if the elder Elric would've seen the look on his baby brother's face, he would've instantly known the disappointment that set into those eyes. So many sentences would've loved to come out of the other boy's mouth at that moment, but he bit his tongue. Still, it didn't keep them from playing inside his brain.

_Oh... it's, uhm... great brother! I was only looking foreword to spending my birthday with you, alone. Somewhere quiet and not so... big. In every sense of the word._

_This is nice. Oh look! There's a cafe down the road a bit! Let's go there! --Insert Al grabbing Ed's hand and making a mad dash away from the club--_

He mentally shook his head, and thought that maybe it would be good if he said something, _anything, _before his silence was taken as a bad thing. Alphonse turned around again, with a small, shy smile and a rose color painted all across his round cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly his throat felt dry and all he could do is pull a classic, "I-can't-say-anything-to-this" face. Deciding that wasn't working he simply shut his mouth, nodded and gave a thumbs up.

"Great! Let's go inside then!" Ed gave him a big grin and grabbed Al's hand, tugging him toward the entrance. His own smile disappeared when he was sure it wasn't seen anymore.

Inside the "Fishnet Kitten" there was an assortment of oak tables with brass legs and bar stools around them. In the center of the huge mass of sitting arrangements was a giant stage where women with "Silicone Valley" written on their foreheads were in high glass platform shoes, fishnets (Hence, the name of the club), and G-strings of different colors. There were many women, actually, around the club. Some were in back rooms doing more personal services (Only lap dances, of course), and many near tables where well-endowed men sat, stroking their chins wishing they could take one of the delicate divas home. Wishful thinking.

There was a woman maybe in her mid-twenties about a yard away from the entrance who held in her arms a clipboard. She wasn't as scantly clad as some of the other girls, but she wasn't exactly "Miss Cardigan Sweater" either. She had long, unkempt black hair that hung half way down her back. Obviously, it was her job to greet them.

"Why, hello boys." She whispered in a soft, sexy voice. "My name's Sawyer, and I hope I'll be seeing you two often. Can I get your names? Just a guest list." Sawyer flipped a lengthy strand of hair behind her ear and pulled a ballpoint pen out from behind it. Looking closer, Al could tell she had stunning green eyes; colored contacts, no doubt. Nevertheless, he was sure she was a nice looking woman beneath all the cheap makeup and dollar store perfume.

"I'm Edward Elric, and this is my little brother, Alphonse. Birthday reservations? Any of that ring a bell?" He hadn't meant the words to come out so impatiently, but already he wanted this night to be over. He couldn't wait till he was home in bed, forgetting whatever was going to happen tonight.

Sawyer eyed over the guest list, and made a few notes and a check mark or two then raised her eyes to look at them. She gave Al a smirk, and a raised eyebrow before saying; "Nice. You're pretty cute. You shouldn't have a hard time finding a girl who'll cut you a cheap deal. Have fun, boys." There was obviously a lot of stage in her tone, and both brothers knew she had probably been paid to say something like that to every single guy who walked in those double doors.

Either way, something in the way she had said Al was cute, hit Ed the wrong way and he gave her a patronizing smile before protectively clasping hands with his brother and pulling him off to the seats. He mentally snarled at her for playing him like that, and regret kept on rearing its ugly head in on his conscience, telling him that maybe this hadn't been such a good idea.

On the bright side, Al didn't seem upset about the location of his birthday present.

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She was beautiful; that much was obvious. Even with the heavy foundation and bright black eyeliner, and cheesy hair extensions, Alphonse could decipher honest beauty. She swayed her body seductively around the chrome pole, giving him lustful glances and winks here and there. 

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and looked away. Slowly, the woman had been getting fractionally closer, closer, until it seemed she was only a few feet away. They had a table within near proximity to the large stage. So close, in fact, that when a girl swung around at the pole nearest to them, the two brothers could have been face to face with the heel of her thick platforms.

Unwillingly, Ed let his gold eyes travel across each girl's body. He found himself paying close attention to their legs, and the way they moved themselves like a classic dance, preformed over generations. In a way, this was their art; this was how they made money for being good at something. It wasn't even like this was a turn on to him, he just found their constant flowing of limbs and how very... _bendable_ they could be simply entrancing. He hadn't dared chance a look at his brother, for fear of the look that could be on his face.

All the while Al had been watching that one particular girl, watching her very closely. She had seemed particularly interesting to him. Not even because she had a nice body, but because she had that strange aura to her. A black aura that in its own way screamed out death, and "I-Don't-Want-To-Be-Here." It wasn't long before she had closed the gap between them and was crawling toward Alphonse with a trademark stripper's smirk lifting one corner of her thin, black lips. She was much different from the other girls; she had a fetish for black.

It was only then that Edward let his eyes fall in his brother's direction. He was a little taken aback by the presence of the woman, and leaned back a little. Faintly, he realized that this would be Al's first "experience" with a girl. With _anyone_, for that matter. It stung a bit, because he had truly hoped he could've been the one to change that.

"You've been watching pretty closely, haven't you, little boy?" The woman said in a voice that couldn't directly be interpreted. She didn't sound seductive like she should've, but sounded more like a human, not a painted doll made to perform.

Alphonse cocked his head to the side as she rested her's in her hands. "_You_ noticed _me_, remember?" He didn't want to look at her face to face. It was fear, he recognized, that was building in him. He had never been in this situation before and didn't know how to have what some people call, "proper conduct." It was nerve wracking. When bronze eyes turned up to face her, he wasn't exactly sure how to feel.

Her eyes were dark; coal colored and ominous. There was a piercing in her bottom lip and her right eyebrow, and it seemed the only make up color she preferred was black: eyeliner and lipstick. Because all the strippers didn't wear tops to their outfits, when he gazed down a little, her small breasts were pierced at the nipple, and bruised slightly. He blushed to himself for looking so unabashedly at a woman's parts. Her G-string was laced and ruffled and quite Gothic looking, and she wore combat boots that rose to her thighs. They had chains on them and locks, and she looked as though she'd just stepped out of a horror dominatrix movie. The final thing he noticed was the tattoo. Just above her left breast was a name, solitary and purple ink: Sid.

Sid must've noticed where the attention was, because instantly she spoke up, voice soft and worn. "I'm Sid. It's short for Sidney. And you don't seem like the typical guy. Most of the guys I've entertained sit with their hands over their crotches and making little grunting sounds and giving me those leers. But you..." She stopped and came down a bit, her pale, black polished fingers swiping across his cheek. "You're just _different_."

Her touch was cold, and he recoiled from it, sliding back against the hard chair. Her caress didn't cease though. In fact, it strengthened. Reaching down, Sid grabbed a handful of his shirt and brought him back towards her. "What is it you're interested in, kid?" She murmured, her eyes steely and chilled. Somewhat, he felt drawn to her. She was unlike the others, and apparently so was he. But that didn't change a simple fact; he _wasn't _interested. Still... it was something he had to try. But-- what would Ed think? Surely he would--

Al yanked himself back abruptly, and reached into his pocket. "Look, I don't want anything from you. I can give you some money though. At least enough to keep you out of here." His wallet was revealed then, showing a few 50's and 100's.

"A military brat, hm? No one else has that kind of cash. Spoiled little rich kid, that's what's different about you." Sidney's fingers curled around a lock of his bourbon hair, and he could tell she wasn't playing.

That was when Ed couldn't just sit and glare. He had to say something. Even if that something turned out to be the complete opposite of what he meant. "You know, Al, you can pay for a girl like that. It's your birthday after all; do you want me to pay for a--"

"She's not property, brother!" Alphonse snapped back, swiftly glaring at him. "Let me handle this, would you?" He let his head turn back to the woman before him, and he gave her a grin. Now it wasn't something he wanted to do... it was something he _had _to do. To prove to Ed that he wasn't too shy to step into a room with a woman and let her work her magic on him. "Twenty minutes. I'll give you... I'll give you 90." He didn't receive an answer, she simply grabbed a hold of his collar with both hands this time, and he felt himself being pulled out of the uncomfortable chair he had been in for the past hour.

The last thing Ed saw was his baby brother, the only person he had ever had sexual and romantic feelings for, being dragged into one of those small, nauseatingly perfumed rooms with couches and chairs and glasses of assorted alcohol. He bit at his lip, and turned away, looking at the girls on stage, looking, but not really seeing... to hurt inside to care whether he was offered a lap dance or not.

* * *

Her smell was that of no other. It was like a rotten two-week-old corpse in a roasting hot apartment room, decomposing and maggot infested. Her scent was of death, and Al wasn't sure how to react to that. 

Sid had begun working quickly, shoving him back into a leather chair. The rest of the room was empty, and distantly he guessed that business might've been slow tonight. Straddling his waist, she began lifting bit by bit at his shirt. "Usually I'm not supposed to do this to customers, but I told you there was something different about you... something I can't turn down."

Alphonse didn't know what to say. Hell, he didn't know where to even put his hands! (Eventually he settled on setting them atop her shoulders.) He could feel her cold, black lips kissing up his stomach, and her fingers sliding his shirt up, perhaps meaning to take it off. Shivering involuntarily, his eyes closed. He wanted those lips to be warm, soft,_ inviting_. He had had dreams of lips like that before; distant, erotic dreams that he couldn't and never would speak of to anyone. Dreams of moaning, touching, kissing, where calloused but gentle hands would try and make their way over his trembling back, to ease him into a calm state.

But... in those dreams, he already was calm. Because those touches were as familiar to him as the feeling of sheets against his skin. Because his dreams, as muffled and strenuous as it had been to contain his panting and mewling when he awoke, had been heaven. And the person who gave him those wonderful feelings was never a cheap Gothic stripper with beautiful eyes and pierced nipples, but was someone who had always been there, but never _there_. The person, who made him cry out in his dreams with an amazing climax to some shadowed type of sexual experience, wasn't the person a normal human would expect to be doing things like that with.

Because no matter how many times he would wish he could be a normal guy and get that strong desire while watching what he did tonight, it didn't matter. In that particular dream, those lips he could touch, those eyes he could see, and they were _his_. Golden, half laden eyes looking into his own, and saying, "Just wake up! Just wake up and maybe all this could be reality. I'm just down the hall. I'm right in the very same house! You could have me! Just... take that little step." But he never had, and he cursed himself now for it.

Now, as she was letting her slender hands fall to his jeans button, but not bothering with it. Going all the way home as to press her hands into the inside of his pants. Snapping out of that dreamy state, he bucked up, surprised at how out right she had been about her intentions. "Something wrong, sweetie? I can tell you wanted this... That boy you were with; not getting any luck with him, hm?"

That struck him. And he had to furrow his eyebrows to make sure he had heard that right. How could she possibly have known? "N-no.S-shut up! That's none of your business! That's my brother!" He didn't want to face it, but he knew tears were close now.

Sid began to stroke a little down there, slowly, and it hurt. "I can give you what you can't get from him. I can give you what you _really_ want. Has he ever touched you like this?" Then she added a little pressure, a little speed. He squirmed, and tried to wriggle away.

_Only in my dreams_, he thought.

The final bit of control over his feelings broke when she took what could've been Edward's: His first kiss.

She lifted her head up and pressed her dead, charcoal colored lips in against his, and he didn't want to be there any longer. What had Ed been thinking taking them here? What had _he_ been thinking agreeing to this?

Alphonse quickly grabbed both of her frail wrists and pulled them away from him. She had no choice but to look him in the eyes then, not really surprised at how it was turning out of her favor. "No, he's never touched me like that. And to tell you the truth, maybe it's better that he doesn't! It'd save both of our souls." He shoved her back and she fell onto the hard, carpeted floor. Grinning a little, she watched him get up, adjusting his shirt and pants, and turning honestly hurt bronze eyes toward her. "I'm sorry for troubling you. But thanks. You helped me realize something."

He tossed a 50 at her, and left the room, happy to be back in the auditorium section of the club. It smelled better; like whiskey. Which was a taste of home; his father had always drank whiskey. He felt soiled, used... pained. Al walked over to the table in a hurry, and was relieved (a little troubled though) to see Ed sitting there sipping on shots of some type of alcoholic beverage. The closer he got, the more it smelled like Vodka.

But Edward wasn't the kind to get drunk; he knew how to hold his alcohol well. "Brother, can we please go? I... just need to get out of here, it's driving me crazy."

The elder boy looked up at him, and true happiness spread over his face. He had been waiting all night to hear those words.

The brothers grabbed their coats off the back of their chairs, and left quickly. It was a relief to the both of them, really. Al knew that this had been an internal changing experience, and for that he was thankful Ed had brought him here. Other than that, he could do without a birthday present for another year or two.

* * *

The cool night air whipped at them as they reached the outside of the club. It was refreshing, crisp and such a relief that Al thought maybe he might fall over and begin laughing. He wasn't sure how to take this entire night, whether to be happy or not... nothing had really changed except the fact he had admitted out loud to a stripper that his brother turned him on. What's up with that? 

Edward staggered a little bit, weight shifting and he pressed a hand to the concrete wall of the nightclub. He felt warm; probably from the alcohol. Self-medication had never been something he was proud of, but God-_damn_ if it didn't work. The feeling had drained out of the lower half of his body, which may or may not have been a good thing. Probably, considering the panting his brother was making would've had him hard in a second. That may not be something he was ready to tell the world though.

It was quiet, save the little sounds of cars racing past them on the street. Even that was a numbed sound. All he could hear was an odd ringing in his ears, and the whisper of cloth when Alphonse would move. There was a strong need to say something that kept bubbling up, but any word now would break the silence, and that might be dangerous.

Al was near the wall closest to the doors of the "Fishnet Kitten," and he could hear the steady pound of the bass drilling out of the concrete walls. He was a bit taken aback when Ed finally looked at him, his eyes a shade of a hue he had never seen before. "You... have black lipstick on your cheek," the older male murmured, and he stepped toward him.

Lifting a hand without a response, Al felt the sticky line that went just past his lips. His eyes went back to his brother, and widened a bit when he noticed that Edward was drawing nearer. This time it was Ed himself to raise a hand. "I'll get it, you can't tell where all it is."

His heart thumped loudly in his chest, and Alphonse couldn't help but step back. That didn't help much; his back ran into the wall, hard, and a gasp caught in his throat. When his big brother's thumb begin to dab at the mark gently, he realized that Ed was having a hard time keeping his eyes down... or at least concentrated on the spot he was trying to clear. "It's just a smear, it should come off." The words were hushed now, more intent.

Al's back arched behind him, and their bodies pressed full against each other. Another gasp rose up, but he bit it back. Only after a moment of detached shock, he realized that Edward's other hand was resting gently on his shoulder, but rubbing subconsciously. It felt nice, and he wanted to lean into the touch, but that would make him seem eager. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, that calloused thumb ceased on his cheek. However, their bodies remained in their relative positions.

"See? I got it off for you," Ed announced in a soft voice. He didn't even want to think about the implications that went around with what he had said, thinking that maybe that would make him horny... or at least hysterical. But the warmth of the other boy's body was so overwhelming he didn't think he could move. His other hand was slipping over Al's right forearm, coming back up, going back down in a soothing motion. He didn't realize the discomfort that was causing.

_Oh for God's sake, if we stay like this for any longer I'm going to go insane! Kiss me already! Why procrastinate any longer? I want you, I **think** you want me... so just do it! _

Al's mind was running around in circles, and he kept thinking the same thoughts. What brought him back was that thumb returning, but not where it had been. Instead, Ed's thumb brushed over his little brother's bottom lip, and he could've sworn he heard a sound coming from the younger man. "Al... I'm sorry. I didn't mean for your birthday to turn out so shitty. Is there something I can do that's a bit better? Something that'll make you happy?"

_Yeah, kiss me you idiot! _His mind offered, hopefully. "No, that's all right. It wasn't _completely_ horrible." Al let out a laugh, and his tongue brushed against the other's thumb.

Ignoring it for the best, Edward let a small laugh escape him too. He nodded, and gave his brother a genuine smile. "Well, okay." It was like that for a moment; the two of them stared, and stared, goofy looking grins on their faces until the grins faltered a little and all that was left were half smiles.

Then, slowly, Alphonse could feel the entire length of Ed's body flush pressed in on him, felt his back hit the wall again-- _Lean_ against it more like-- could feel those slow moving hands slip down to his waist and grab a hold of the hem of his pants. And then--

They both leaned in at once, but slow enough to where they knew it wasn't going to be a miss. Ed closed his golden eyes and let his lips touch his brother's softly at first, but when he could feel the pressure of lips pressing back against his he knew that it was okay to get serious.

The wind lapped at them furiously, and Al's loose hair came back to bite them in the face. It didn't disturb the kiss, though. The two of them were pressing against each other hopelessly, needing and wanting the contact. Al felt clumsy; he hadn't really known how to kiss someone, but it seemed as though Ed was doing a very good job. He sort of just had to move his mouth the right way, and try not to moan when he felt their tongues touch.

Slender hands rose up to hold on tightly to Ed's shoulders, and for some reason Alphonse felt like Sid hadn't really stolen his first kiss. Instead, it had been stolen, actually... more like _given_ to his big brother. That was a heavenly feeling, and he found himself wishing that this would've been the birthday gift, rather than a stripper.

(Oh what they could've done! Being all alone in the house... If they would've just done this earlier they could've shagged twelve times already that night! He shivered at that image, and he knew that maybe something like that was right around the corner. Oh, he hoped so. He had been waiting far, far too long for the real feeling of sensuality, not dreamscapes.)

They pulled apart quickly, both wide-eyed and blushing. Al was the first to go back for more (Actually, it would've been Ed, but he was still too shocked that this was really happening.). Between fervent and rushed kisses, the younger Elric was whispering short, "I love you," 's to the other boy. God, how he had waited to say that. He stopped again, and took Ed's thin face in his hands, looking very serious. "I love you, I love you, I love you!" Honestly, he couldn't say it enough.

Shortly after, Al was moving in again, and kissing every bare inch of skin he could see. Edward's neck, his cheeks, his nose, his ears, his lips... he was craving what he had only had in his dreams. It didn't matter to him that his brother hadn't said anything since they started kissing... all that was on his mind was, _How am I going to wait till we get home? I just want him to have me now! I want us to be together right here... _

"A-Al?"

He stopped. His hands were on Ed's forearms, and his mouth had just been on the older boy's neck, ravishing him with all the kisses that had been locked up for countless years. But there had been something in Edward's tone that had halted every movement, and forced him to look up into those gold eyes he had dreamed about for eternity.

Ed looked a little out of breath (Not like he had a reason; Al had been doing all the work!) and very disgruntled. Most of all he was covered in tiny marks and his cheeks were terribly red. The last place his hands had been settled were his brother's chest, but now he was moving them up to hold onto Alphonse's face, mimicking the same movement the other had done only a moment or two ago. He didn't speak for a long while, but his mouth was open (Distractedly, Al thought of how lovely his big brother's lips were, and how wonderful it had been to kiss them...) and he looked as though he were still searching for the precise words to say.

"I-I want you." He whispered breathlessly. His face turned perhaps a bit redder. "I... _want_ you." He repeated, like one time hadn't convinced Al, let alone himself. "I've wanted you for as long as I can remember, but _Hell_ if I could tell you." Ed wanted to tell him how beautiful he had always thought Alphonse was, how irresistible he found his charm, how many times he had wanted to just take a leap of faith and begin something between them... but those confessions were for a different time. Now, he had to convey some type of example to prove he was for real.

"Oh, brother... It was the same for me! I was so afraid to--"

Edward stopped Al's talking with another press of their lips to each other. He wanted to do everything he knew to Al, but he hardly thought that the outside of a strip club was the best place for lovemaking. Mentally, he laughed. _Lovemaking_. It had a sweet but sexy sound to it. He would have to get used to using it, because after tonight he had a feeling there would be a lot of it happening.

At last, both sets of lips were relinquished, and they could feel the moist, warm sensation of each other's panting on their faces. Alphonse began to giggle helplessly into his hands, zeal, happiness, and sheer love flowing through him. Oh, what a wonderful feeling it was! He could definitely get used to this.

He could picture it now; getting up every morning, the first thing he would see would be his brother next to him, their bodies tangled beneath the comforter on the large bed, the scent of their lovemaking (There's that word again!) still lingering in the air from the night before. And slowly Ed would wake up, too. Then they would share a good morning kiss, and the day would begin. Of course, sex is a part of any good couple's day, so there would be a lot of that, too. Al squealed at the mental picture a relationship with his brother painted.

Then, he was back in reality. But reality was the closest to his fantasy as he'd ever been. He was still there, in front of the "Fishnet Kitten," Edward standing near him, waiting for his laughter to subside. They had really kissed, admitted, and thought. It wasn't the first kiss he'd imagined when he was little, but even so... it didn't disappoint him in the least.

"So... does this mean that we're together now, brother? Because... I've been waiting so long to be with you." Alphonse looked away, but his eyes returned when he felt a hand settle on his shoulder.

"What part of, _I want you, _don't you understand?" Ed sighed, and then gave him a smile. "It means I love you, Al. I love you more as a lover, than I do as a brother, or a best friend. I know that with you next to me each night I'll love you more and more each day. I don't know how else I can explain that to you."

Al's heart had jumped exactly four times during the last sentence or two his brother had spoken. He had been wishing and praying for those words since he was old enough to know what love was. And now he had heard them, and they had never sounded so sweet... not even in his wildest dreams. But oh, he could think of a good way for Ed to prove how much he loved him... that would have to wait till they got home, though. (Sadly. TT)

"I believe you." The bronze-eyed boy moved in for another kiss, a shorter one, and when he pulled back he was smiling shyly. "Let's go home. I think I've seen my first and last stripper tonight," Al said, somberly.

They began to walk down the steps, leading away from the Gentlemen's Club, and towards the blue Honda.

"No kidding. And besides, now that you're mine, I'm not _ever_ letting you out of the house!" Edward replied with a smirk. As possessive as that sounded, he truly didn't want to share Al with the world. He wanted him to himself...

The car doors clicked shut as soon as the two of them were seated. Ed didn't start the car right away; he just leaned against the seat and looked out of the sunroof with glazed eyes and a dreamy smile. The stars weren't all the way visible that night; too many lights from the city, and distant cities, but even so... he could see them, looking down at him and his brother, and he wished on every single one of them that this wouldn't be just a one-night-stand, but an honest to goodness relationship.

One look at Al and he knew it would be. Somewhere inside of him he knew that they wouldn't do something so ridiculous. This would be the start of something new, something real...

"Y'know, on second thought, Al... Would it be such a crime to _not_ wait till we got home?"

There weren't any second thoughts or confusion behind that request.

Alphonse smirked right back at his presumptuous big brother and crawled towards him, trying to look as sexy as the girls in the club had been. He even straddled the elder boy's waist in the driver's seat, just as Sid had to him, attempting to do this the right way. No words were needed as desperate fingers shed clothing, and touched skin that had never been seen, or kissed or soiled.

The two boys slid into the back seat, where more room was available and waiting wasn't an option. The color of their eyes was darkened by the lack of light, but ability to find the right spots didn't hinder them. It came natural to the both of them, oddly. And damn, it felt so _good_.

Neither of them had envisioned losing their virginity in the back seat of their Honda, but it was as good a place as any.

And when all of it was over, and the windows had been fogged up to their highest extent, when the two brothers lay with tangled limbs and sweat all over their skin, they had never felt better. It was the best gift Al could've received, and ever would. It was the first, but certainly not the last time he and Ed would share this type of intimate contact, and every time it would seem like he was accepting the same gift, over and over again.

All of the events of the night had rooted from Edward's heinous idea of venturing into a cabaret. Alphonse had lost his virginity to his brother, had gained a boyfriend, had practically been raped by a stripper... and had had the best night of his life.

It seemed as though it were all a deeper part of that one, single gift.

xx owari xx

* * *

**Closing Notes: **_I had a blast writing this. I changed a bit from what happened in my dream but... I'm very satisfied with the out come. I hope it was good enough for everyone else. Comment now. Do it!_

_...psssttt... _

_Al was on bottom! XD :flees:_


	5. Deception

**Author's Notes:** _I'm really running out of ideas here. I'm thinking of making this a 100-drabble/one-shot collection. Would that be over-kill? o.O I think I might be shot if I try to pull off all of that. Heh. Erm... theCatandtheCow, you will get your drabble with the words you offered. Hopefully, it'll be drabble number six. :smiles:_

**Warnings:** _Elricest (I can never get sick of it.). Mentioning of Roy/Ed. I couldn't freaking believe I did that. Anyway, it plays out quite nicely. Mild Violence. Language. Angst._

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_xx Deception xx _

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It was their last fight.

Sometimes, that's all it can take; a few harsh, selfish words tossed around without care or modesty. But surely neither of them had figured it would result in one of them leaving! Only a fool would leave over such a stupid quarrel.

They had fought before. Punching, biting, kicking, slapping, _tearing_ at each other without mercy, and of course the childish name-calling, consisting of, "Dumb-ass!" Or, "Son of a bitch!" The only thing was, those were silly fights. They had no meaning, and no purpose. Just a fight for the hell of it, just to be going against the grain. That was how the Elric brothers worked things out.

Normally, they were as happy as could be. Alphonse and Edward loved one another with every fiber in their beings. They were lovers, brothers, and best friends. It was an everyday occurrence, however, for them to get into lame arguments, usually ending with Al threatening his big brother with a classic, "You'll be sleeping alone for the rest of your life!"

The only difference about this fight was the conclusion of it... or _lack_ there of.

Oh... and the fact that it had to do with infidelity, on the elder brother's part.

Al had been crying uncontrollably into Ed's lap, wishing so hard that he could trust him. But after what he had heard, it was hard to do that much. Ed had been silent, stroking his brother's lengthy auburn hair, and looking sadly away. He was regretting telling his brother what he had done, and something told him that their relationship would be most definitely over. That was a bitter, stinging reality. Because neither one of them ever gave up; not on alchemy, not on life, and certainly not on each other. But, he realized, this would be the first time they would.

"You wasted it," the younger boy's voice was flooded and choked. "You wasted all of it. You gave my feelings away, the feelings we shared. That we created... you just threw them away. Y-you... you gave them to that third-rate General. You let Roy Mustang come between our love, the love I thought you returned." It was then Al's head lifted from Edward's now-soaking lap. His usually sweet, bronze eyes were narrowed in a look of sheer malice, anger... hurt. All of the passion and adoration he had ever felt for the other was swept carelessly away, and in its place lay a dead, rotting corpse of love.

He felt his heart decomposing.

Ed finally looked into those eyes, and couldn't stand up to them. He was exactly right, and he knew that. But... it hadn't been his fault. If only he would've come home when he had said he would, Mustang wouldn't have asked him to stay later for a "briefing" on a _special assignment_. That was when the man had pinned his subordinate on his office desk, the devil burning in his grin. Edward hadn't agreed, but then again he sure as hell didn't refuse.

That was what hurt the most. Not the fact that the older Elric had had sex with General Mustang, but the fact that he had the power to stop it. The power to tell the man, "No." How fucking hard would that have been? It destroyed something in Al's very core, and he let the tears run freely, still glaring at Ed with as much strength as he felt he had right then. He hated being angry at his Nii-san, but what was he supposed to do?

_Oh, that's okay, brother! I love you anyway! And you know what? You can go ahead and fuck him anytime you want. Honestly! I really, really don't mind. Just don't forget to use protection, okay?_

Now, who in their right mind would come back with that cheap-ass response? Certainly not Alphonse Elric. Oh, no. He had a much more honest reply to that total act of betrayal. Inside of him, he was like a raging wind. The crying had simply been the calm before the storm. If there was anything anyone knew about Al, it was that he was like a ticking time bomb. His programming was thus; tears would come first... always. Then, after they subsided, his anger would grow, and grow, and grow. It was as though he had a very still state before the final, deadly eruption. And this was to be the deadliest.

He yanked himself back away when Ed had made a move to touch his face, falling back on the kitchen floor. He scrambled to his feet, that rage inside of him consuming him completely. "I never want to hear the words, 'I love you,' come out of your mouth again. Don't you ever tell me that I'm the only person you would die for, because now I know that all of those sweetly whispered phrases mean nothing! They never did, and I was stupid to think differently!" Al's shouting filled the house, and it felt so unnatural for this on pour of anger to be coming so unbidden. He wasn't used to expressing his feelings like this, and he was sure it had shocked Ed a little, too.

That was made clear when Edward rose to his feet as well, slowly, and he glanced at Alphonse for just a moment before he raised his flesh hand and made a clear slap across his brother's face. For Ed, it was the complete opposite. His anger came front and center long before the tears had a chance to take over. And his anger could last for hours. "You're such an idiot, Al! You think I _wanted _that? You think I wanted to ruin the relationship that we have? Are you fucking insane?" He stepped back and pressed his palm against his forehead, laughing in a sarcastic way. "Maaan, what a load of shit. He's a loser! He's just some guy!"

"No," Al said quietly, his fingers touching the hot mark on his cheek. "No, he's not. We've known him for almost ten years, brother. You don't go sleeping with someone I trust! And just what do you mean, '...The relationship we have?' I think you meant to say, 'The relationship we _HAD._' "

"Y-you can't be serious. Its just Roy! Its just Mustang, Alphonse! He--"

"N-no. You see, brother, that's your problem. It isn't 'JUST ROY.' " The soft spoken younger boy looked up a little, and gave Ed a smile. "You think it's all okay, that I can just forget about this. It wouldn't matter if you slept with a hooker, or even Winry! You still were with someone else, behind my back. So there isn't a, 'Just Roy,' ... _that's_ fucking insane." Al said maliciously, throwing the boy's words back at him. There wasn't anything else to say. Still touching his cheek, he stalked past his brother and toward the front door, fighting away the tears that still weren't gone from before.

Edward rolled his eyes and grabbed the back of Al's shirt, yanking him backwards, toward him again before the male had a chance to grab the doorknob. He reached his arms around Alphonse's waist, and tightened them securely, insuring that he wouldn't be getting away anytime soon. For a moment, he hated himself again. He had taken for granted what it had felt like to have the other so near, pressed so taut up against him. Oh, what compromising positions they were in...

Al growled at his brother, and ignored how right this felt. Ignored how much he wanted to give in, and let Ed get away with something yet again.

Searching, gentle hands settled comfortably on the younger man's hipbones, and Ed found himself becoming more prompting by the moment. He turned his head a little to kiss at Al's neck, and nibble carefully at his ear. "I love you, Alphonse. Please... _please_ believe me..." His whispers were so enticing, _dammit!_

A whimper was nearly incoherently emitted from Al, and he had tried so hard to silence it; he knew it would only egg the man on. He wished that those lips weren't giving him such sweet kisses, saying such gentle, inviting things, being all too wonderful.

Not waiting for second thoughts, Al thrust himself away, but turned back to look once more into those perfect, deceptive golden eyes. And, because he knew he would regret it if he didn't, he closed his eyes and took a painful swing at his brother's jaw. He heard a horrible crack, and little tiny teardrops fell past his laden orbs. That punch had released the boiling tension that had begun to eat him alive.

He didn't want to look back.

Grabbing his coat from the hat-rack only a foot or so away, Alphonse left. He didn't know when he would return, or if he ever would... all he knew was that there was a lot to think about; for Edward and for himself.

After the door slammed, the eldest Elric gazed helplessly as a bruise was beginning to form on his jaw-line. His stomach turned and tossed and he felt sick. He had never expected his baby brother to leave him, but, he thought, maybe it was for the best.

His eyes looked down at his auto mail palm, and he watched as tears fell on its metal frame. He knew he had made this biggest mistake of his life, and for some reason, he suspected that Al would never return.

xx owari xx

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**Closing Notes:** _Maaaaan, I cried so hard during the making of this. I did it all in one night. Also, don't forget; I still need words. Two verbs, two nouns. Gosh... this story was like... heart breaking. Dammit Roy! I love him as long as he's not with Edward. _


	6. Pillow Talk

**Author's Notes: **_This was a challenge fic inspired by the two nouns and two verbs _theCatandtheCow _gave me; Cat, Rain, Kissing, Arguing. If you watch closely, I use each one in this fic. If you want to come up with two nouns and two verbs, go ahead and post them in the Review. _

**Random Note: **_I love the term, 'Making Love.' Or any other order you can arrange those words. It's so much more pretty then saying, "Having Sex." That's kind of vulgar if you ask me. Anyway, I used the term in Drabble 4, and I'm using it in this Drabble/One-shot._

**Warnings: **_Elricest. Language. Fluff I guess. Smutt-ish-ish-ish things. I think this story --Along with being the result of four challenge words-- was probably just an excuse to make Edo and Aru do cute things to each other... Hints of sexual things. I believe that's it._

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_xx Pillow Talk xx_

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Alphonse smiled to himself, letting the rain pour on him by the bucket full. His long hair remained unbound and hung around his shoulders, dripping with moisture. The sky gurgled and roared and he could hear distant crashes of thunder from a little to the west. Munich was all a-storm, and people scurried about with umbrellas hunched over their heads, clutching the bags with items they had purchased just before.

And there he was, gazing down the street with half lidded bronze eyes and a somnolent smile gracing his lips. He knew he should be heading home, but he was far too happy leaning against a wall of a building, letting the tears of heaven fall on him. His red jacket-- a replica of Ed's-- hung down slightly, sagged with wetness, voiding the reason to wear such a garment. In all truth, Al couldn't remember why he had chosen to come outside during a storm, but he had, and for some reason or another, the rain felt especially amazing today.

There were memories that had been coming in and out daily; memories of a time when feeling wasn't an option. Edward had told him that Al had once been a suit of armor, unable to feel things normally. And he vaguely wondered what he had done in that time, thinking of how horrid it must've been without the ability to do things a regular human did.

A lovely, radiant beam of bright light struck out in the sky, illuminating it for just a split second. Ahh, lightning. Then a loud crash joined it, making the most perfect storm. Al smiled again, this time upwards, relishing in the wondrous beauty that this weather had become. He was thanking internally thanking the sky for producing such an amazing sight for him to gaze at.

Then another loud _PANG _of lightning struck the ground harshly, only a few feet from him.

That was when he decided that going home was probably an excellent idea. Lifting the soaking hood, he placed it over his head, defeating the purpose of the hood itself. He walked, though, not _too_ afraid and equally excited.

Home was calling... A warm cup of German tea and maybe a turkey sandwich. Ah yes, that'd be lovely. Not only that, but a tired, warm, smiling Edward to cuddle up with. That alone was enough incentive to hurry him up.

About a block or two from the penthouse, a large puddle had formed in a steep dip in the sidewalk. Al stopped, barely missing it. He bent over to look inside of it, his water reflection marred by the falling rain. Still, he could see his smile inside, and the weight of his drenched hair protruding from the hood. But something caught his attention, and he lifted his eyes to see what it was.

A diminutive cat was seated on the far side of puddle, hazel little eyes watching the 13 year old with intent interest. It was white with a shade of brown to it-- probably from dirt or something. Its long tail went back and forth, sliding over the wet cement, and it was shiver, involuntarily.

"Well, hello," Alphonse said quietly, grinning. Mm, a cat. Just how long had it been since he had snuck a kitty in the house?

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When no one was home, the quiet penthouse seemed all that much more desolate and eerie. Al came in without a sound, hugging 'Dinah' to his soaking chest, protectively. When he was sure that his brother wasn't home, he slid off his old, worn shoes and his feet padded across the wood floor. The echo of dripping water resounded through the hall as he made his way toward their bedroom.

He just needed to find an adequate hiding spot for the kitty...

The bedroom the Elric brother's shared was a very un-tidy place, despite Al's efforts to keep it neat. Still, there was a certain amount of color coordination put into the decor. The room's theme was a crème base with a red undertone. The curtains on the window were beige-ish and the bed had a soft feeling deep red bedspread strewn over it. There was an oak dresser, a couple of nightstands and a large walk-in closet with off-white shutter doors.

It _could _be a nice room; if only articles of clothing, books, different knick-knacks and such weren't spread all over the carpeted floor. With a look of minute disgust on his face, Al scanned over for possible places to stash the cat where sufficient breathing space was still available.

_The closet?_

No, that was where Ed _always _looked.

As he continued searching, Dinah clutched in his arms, the front door suddenly slammed shut.

"Al, are you home?" Edward's husky, older voice called from the foyer. He bent over and took off his boots, smiling as he spotted Al's little black ones. He was soaked, too, _damn _that rain. But he removed his tan trench coat with ease, placing it on the coat rack, just as his little brother's voice called back to him.

"Uh... uh... Nii-san! Um, you're home! Y-yeah, I'm in the... the bedroom. I'm getting changed, so... Don't come in here!" as the words came out of his mouth; Alphonse was frantically searching for a quick place to shove the cat in before Ed came in. Not the closet, not the dresser drawer, not under the bed... his eyes looked over possible places quickly, as he was subconsciously squishing that poor kitty in his arms.

The elder man rolled his eyes as he walked down the hall. "Ah, c'mon, Al. I've seen you naked plenty of times." _Then again, those were all times when he was panting underneath me... _Grinning at that arousing thought, Ed touched the doorknob while simultaneously Alphonse set Dinah in the bed, covering her with the blanket, and trying to rip off his own clothes. He succeeded in throwing off his jacket, which landed in a wet pile on the floor next him, and he had three buttons of his black shirt undone by the time Edward finally opened up the door.

They stood awkwardly like that for a moment, Al shivering and dripping, his fingers entwined within the buttons of his shirt. "G-good aftern-noon, N-Nii-san." He smiled a little, and sneezed, shaking convulsively. The bed was already un-made, so the lump where Dinah was laying wasn't even noticed as Ed walked in oddly.

"You're not undressed... Al, what're you hiding?" those golden eyes peered at him skeptically, and the younger man received the '_I can tell by the way you're acting' _look.

Alphonse continued to undo his button-up shirt, pretending to be preoccupied with the task. "Why, whatever could you mean, Nii-san?" He glanced up quickly to steal a look, and he realized that Ed was dripping a bit, too. Mm, he looked so sexy with his hair wet and his clothes tight against his skin. "I'm _getting _undressed. I never said that I _was _undressed." He lifted his head after those words came out, and smiled at the way Ed cocked an eyebrow at the other's reasoning.

"Really, now. Is that so?"

"Yes, actually. However, if you'd like me to be undressed, I can arrange that." Al said, just as he worked the last button free, the soaking garment slipping off his shoulders and revealing his perfect skin. His face darkened considerably, but he ignored that, and looked shyly up at his Nii-san, who was still a good few feet away from him.

Edward smiled and rolled his eyes for the second time. "Looks like you're already half-way there." He took a step foreword, grinning dangerously. He liked the way Al looked without clothing; his body was far too beautiful to be hidden by clothes. When he was in a close enough range, he gently touched the button on the pants of the younger man. "There's something you're hiding, Al, and I'm going to find it."

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not behind that zipper," the boy shot back, readily. Nonchalantly, he lifted his fingers to began unbuttoning Ed's own shirt. This was turning out nicely. If he had it his way, he would get in a nice round of lovemaking with his big brother, not to mention a kitty.

Those daring, gold eyes scanned over Al's face for any trace of mischief, and that was all he found. But he had a strong notion that that mischief wasn't because of hiding something-- Al had something_ else _in mind for right now. Ed was positive of that as he observed how tentative the younger Elric was at removing that work-shirt Ed had been wearing nearly everyday now. "We'll see, Al. I think there's a whole mess of secrets you're hiding behind that zipper." he countered, smirking. The shirt slipped off of him, Alphonse tugging urgently at the sleeves to rid his big brother of them.

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong, Nii-san. All secrets are in here," Al pointed at his head, and then his gaze returned to Ed. He could feel the drip of water from his hair slide down his back, and catch at the junction where his pant line met flesh. It sent a shiver up his spine, and he wanted some kind of warmth.

For a moment they stayed in silence, listening to the pounding of the growing storm outside the penthouse. It was a lulling sound, and only seemed to egg on the desire that they both were beginning to feel.

"Dammit, Al. You're such a tease. Can't you just be straight foreword and tell me exactly what it is you want?"

"Of _course _not. Where's the fun in that? I like to keep you guessing, either way." Al's eyes seemed to shine, and he moved a little, pressing his hands flat against Edward's bare chest. _When did he become so well toned? I never seemed to notice before. But his skin feels so soft... it's kind of ironic. _

Then again, all the other times the couple had made love, it had never been a matter of discovering each other's bodies, or mapping out those uncharted territories, exploring the most sensitive of areas on the male body-- oh, no. That hadn't been their style. It had mostly been one, or both of them craving contact, and wanting satisfaction. Mostly, it had been Al who had been more rushed. He was a naturally modest person, but when things became intimate, he internally wanted to show his brother what he looked like, and what kinds of kisses he liked on which spots... But was far too much of that modest person to allow that. Even if it was what he wanted.

There were many things they still had to cover as far as being lovers went. However, there had never been time for all the exploring. It had, in fact, been Al who wanted to rush through it. He was nervous, now, especially because he was so much more under-developed than Edward, considering the five years he lost of his aging while he was supposedly in the armor. It didn't stop Ed, though. It was very clear that he had been deprived of such luxuries, and the only person he really wanted to share those luxuries with _was_ Al.

It was Ed who had always wanted to take the time and ravish the younger boy's body in sweet kisses, and be told where to go, and what to be gentle around... simply, he just wanted the indulgence of being able to make Alphonse's first sexual experiences wonderful, soft, gentle ones. And he hoped that this time, he would get the chance to do so. Because he knew it was what Al wanted, but he also knew that it was that shyness that always got in the way of them taking their time.

The elder man leaned his head down a bit, and let his lips travel across the milky flesh on Al's neck, and he felt the hands that were on his chest tighten into fists as that tension began to overwhelm the other boy. "It's okay, Al. This is okay... relax," he whispered between those quick, light kisses. Slowly, he felt the muscles in the younger brother's arms begin to ease, and Alphonse was leaning into the touch.

Kissing was his absolute favorite thing in the world to do. Al loved feeling Ed's lips on him, kissing away, doing what they did best. He especially loved it when they were kissing, mouth-to-mouth. He remembered being little, and liking to watch the way Edward moved his mouth to speak, and wondering what it would be like to kiss that fine set of lips. So when they finally were able to kiss one another, Al liked to close his eyes and think about exactly _whose _mouth he was kissing, and why it was so special.

Not only that, but Ed was an amazing kisser. He could kiss so slowly that it was agonizing, but left you coming back for more, in that sensual, longing, passionate way that only his Nii-san could pull off. And then there were times when his kisses were all heat and want and need and he was so very quick about it, but passionate and sexy all at once. No matter which way Ed kissed, he was wonderful at it-- that was something only Alphonse Elric knew.

After a moment or so, Ed wasn't satisfied with just the neck; he needed his entire baby brother. He moved and began kissing up that sculpted, young jaw line, arriving at Al's mouth. He stopped just before though, and gave him a long look. "Ready to spill your secrets, Al?"

The younger blonde shook his head, and his face was so terribly red. "No, I'll let you find them." Without needing further prompting, the older teen swiftly kissed him, being oh so very gentle. The way only he had mastered so skillfully; he knew how to handle Alphonse during these times-- it wasn't too hard.

All he had to remember was that his reputation during sex was to be gentle but forceful. He could manage that. He would _never _hurt Al, but he knew how to get what he wanted from the boy, along with pleasing him, too. It was just how they wound up doing things. Mutual satisfaction, mutual happiness, hot, quick sex.

But... it wouldn't be like that this time; he kept telling himself that. This time Al would allow him to explore, to touch, to learn, to _see. _His arms snaked around that shaking body, and Ed felt as though he would never let go. These moments were too few and far between to not take advantage of.

Before long, though, he had maneuvered the smaller boy over to the bed (Inside, Al was praying they didn't accidentally land on Dinah. Poor Cat...) where Edward gently lowered Alphonse on to it, being careful not to ruin anything. He remained standing, though leaning over Al with his hands on either side of him.

"Nii-san, will you make love to me?" came Al's soft voice. It was so strange coming out of his mouth. He, a thirteen year old who just received his body back not even three years ago, asking his brother if he would make love to him. But even so, he assumed that Ed wouldn't look to much into that, and would take it as an invitation or a request.

Ed looked at him, and smiled when he saw that Al had his eyes closed, and his breath was coming in long, slow heaves. He looked beautiful lying there like that, his pants low on his hips, and his hands up by his head. Warm lips traveled down and placed a kiss just above the boy's navel, slowly rising up at the dip in his chest, arriving at his collar bone where those lips seemed to linger longest, testing the waters of what was allowed.

His heart jumped a little when Alphonse tenderly put his arms around Ed's neck, tugging him closer. Though, Ed was still standing and it was hard to maintain balance this way. He staggered a little, but eventually just waited until the other was done holding him.

"Don't ever leave me again. Please, Nii-san, don't ever make me be alone. I never want to be without you again. I _always _want to be at your side. I understand if you have to work, just don't make me ever go looking for you again, like I had to before. I don't want to lose you..." Alphonse murmured so quietly, it was barely heard over the noise of the brewing storm outside. But Edward heard, and he lifted Al into a sitting position so that they could hold each other easier.

"You nutcase. Do you think for one minute that I would leave you intentionally? You're _my _baby brother, Al. I'll never leave you alone." he convinced, pulling away to ensure eye contact was made. He could see small tears just forming in those forlorn bronze eyes, and it killed him a little. Ed leaned in once more, nuzzling Al's cheek with his nose. "Idiot..." he whispered affectionately.

"But I'm yours. I'm your idiot." Al smiled, and ran a hand over Edward's soaking hair. "Mm, I love you, Nii-san." He pulled Ed closer so he could sit on the bed, too, that way he wouldn't be stuck bending over to hold onto him.

He sat down slowly, the warm feeling of the bed creeping into him. This was just what he needed after a long day's work; a comfortable bed, warm sheets, a sweet Alphonse to make love to, and to hear-- to _know _that he was loved. He watched as the younger boy laid back down, breaking the desperate contact they had, but smiling all the same.

The older Elric reached out and stroked gently at Al's long, unbound hair. "I love you, too. With or without those secrets that are securely fastened in your pants." He made a small sound of internal laughter, and observed the expression on the other's face.

Al blushed minimally, and looked away. "I told you, the secrets aren't _there. _But... you're welcome to look if you want." he said back, with a hint of that teasing tone he had before.

Edward lay back, too, and leaned foreword on his left shoulder, reaching out a hand to trail down that silky chest. His fingertips glided down, and made small circular motions across the area above the pant line. It gave Alphonse goose bumps, and he shivered a little out of the passion that was burning inside his lower tummy.

Just as Ed was reaching _that area _ready to unbutton those tight pants and find those secrets, he leaned foreword too far, because instantly he cried out in pain. He shot a golden gaze to the side where he found a cat sitting there with it's little jaw clamped around his shoulder. "Wha...?"

Dinah, clawed helplessly at the elder Elric's arm, scratching it horribly and biting down hard on his flesh.

Al bolted up, his face suddenly more red then it already was. "Ack! Dinah! NO! You were supposed to st...stay... in the... bed." He realized with an embarrassed sort of feeling, that Ed was now glaring at him, and had simultaneously figured out _exactly _what was going on. He took the hand that had been meant for Al and he picked the cat up by the scruff of her neck, prying her jaw free of him.

One gold eye shut under the pain, and there were distinct puncture marks where those sharp little teeth had been, and small drops of blood were sliding down the small muscles on Edward's arm.

Alphonse grabbed Dinah and set her on the floor hastily, returning back to the bed where Ed was trying to get a good look at the mark. Not only was he bleeding from the teeth marks; he was bleeding from the little cuts the kitty had made in his arm with her claws. "N-Nii-san, I'm _so _sorry. I didn't mean for her to do that. I just needed a place to hide her until you were out of the room. Under the covers was the only place I figured you wouldn't look. Obviously I didn't foresee what we were going to do. I--"

Those eyes were on him again, this time not with anger, but mild pain. "So, I guess _that _was your big secret, huh?" he asked, voice a little shaky. The stinging in his arm was so exquisite that it out numbered the anger he should be feeling.

The younger boy nodded, his face burning with shame, all thoughts of intimacy gone out the window. He felt horrible. If only he hadn't been so selfish and wanted to keep the cat, his brother wouldn't have gotten hurt.

To make some kind of amends, Al softly touched Ed's arm, bringing it closer. He leaned foreword and softly began licking away the trails of blood, his small pink tongue working slowly and trying to be gentle with the wound all at once. When he got to the bite marks, he kissed each puncture, then made his way down to the cuts from Dinah's claws. Deciding that maybe things could still work out, he raised his eyes to glance up at Edward as he brought his tongue out once more licking the cuts clean in such a provocative way that the sexual intent behind it was nearly palpable.

To perhaps even emphasis this intent, Alphonse made a very soft sound in the back of his throat. A kind of guttural wanting, moaning noise that made Ed tilt his head to the side in amusement.

Slowly, that pain was being over shadowed by lust, and he reached out to make the boy come closer. "Mnn, Al... y-you don't have to do that... It wasn't_ that _bad..." despite his words, there was no way in hell that Ed wanted Al to stop. It felt too damn good, and his lover looked way too sexy doing such things for him to pass up an opportunity to watch him.

Al's lips were warm and searching, and he tried his best to make sure that his big brother was feeling the pleasure he had intended for him to feel. "Of course I have to, Nii-san. This _is _my fault, after all." He began sucking soothingly at one of the injuries, mewling at the sensual taste of Edward's blood.

Abruptly, Ed lifted Al's head, and gazed at him for a long moment. If all of the attention his arm had been getting didn't have him hard already, the look on Al's face sure would've; he was panting, very open mouthed, and his bronze eyes were half lidded and clouded with desire. His hair was matted down not only from the rain outside, but also from the light sweat they had worked up before the incident with the cat. His round cheeks were a deep red color, and he had a small smear of blood just below his lips.

Edward moved in to lick that smear away, and then up a bit to kiss the younger boy properly. That kiss was heaven-- it was thorough, long, slow... _deep. _

Alphonse made a sound and wrapped his hands around his brother's neck, pain forgotten, and all of the heat and want from before fully restored.

Dinah sat on the floor, looking up at them. Her tail swished side to side, and her hazel eyes watched them intently. She would wait; Al would give her attention as soon as he and Ed were through with their fun. Which might take a while... She lay down, her head rested on her front paws, and waited for their time to be over.

After a moment, a pair of pants fell to the floor next to her-- a small pair, Al sized. Then, not even a minute later, another pair fell, this time on top of her. A slightly larger pair; Ed sized.

Both brothers' were entangled within minutes, chests heaving in ecstasy and crying out with passion. The sound of their lovemaking (Wow, I _do _use that word a lot.) filled the entire penthouse, as Alphonse for once allowed his big brother to explore his body a bit more.

Outside, the storm quieted into a light drizzle, and Munich became tired, all arguing left for another time.

xx Owari xx

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**Closing Notes: **_Okie dokie. So I used ALL FOUR words in there. Plus I had a blast writing a smutty/fluffy fanfic. Everyone wins. Now, it's your turn-- It's easy, all you have to do is review! And... maybe throw in two verbs and two nouns for me to work with. :nudge nudge:_


	7. Words of Affection

**Author's Notes: **_This is something I've wanted to try for a while now. I guess everything's kinda been working up to this. It's corny, fluffy and LAME but I like it anyway. So, nyeh! _

**Warnings: **_Elricest, SOME SPOILERS. (Movie Spoilers, I believe.) Corny Lines of Pure and Unadulterated Fluff. Random Themes. Really, be prepared for anything. This is basically just an accumulation of Word themed Elricest sentences. I also wanted to use some elements, so you'll see almost all of them. But other than that, I picked all these words randomly, thinking I could make a couple Elricesty sentences from them. Hope you like._

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_xx Words of Affection xx_

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**- Air -**

Alphonse smiled up at his big brother, his rosy cheeks somehow darker then they had been before the conversation began. "You're like the air to me, Nii-san; without you, I can't breathe." And he turned away, perhaps ashamed of his sweet confession.

**- Wind -**

The autumn breezes were mostly refreshing, above all else. They swept through Central without mercy, but were so rejuvenating that it was hard to dislike them. The Elric brothers loved lying on the grass at night, warmly wrapped in each other's arms, letting the wind whip through their hair, both equal in length.

**- Pain -**

It went away after a while, when things became clear and he realized that the intention hadn't been to hurt him; in fact, that was the least of Ed's intentions. He simply wanted Al to know that pain was a human emotion and he could, _indeed_, now feel it.

**- Fire -**

The flames raged continuously in the fireplace long after they had stopped being noticed. Edward and Alphonse were fast asleep, huddled cozily in an old blanket that Winry had given them for their home. Two half-full mugs of cold hot chocolate lay dormant on the carpet a few feet away.

**- Song -**

Very faintly, only on the warmest of nights, could Ed hear his brother-- pressed up against his chest-- singing softly in the twilight. To him, it was the most beautiful of songs; something he'd never tell.

**- Friend -**

There wasn't jealousy to fill that part of his heart, but Al sometimes worried about the goings-on between Alfons and Edward. In fact, it worried him so much that Ed had to sit down with him and convince him thoroughly that the only status of a relationship between himself and Heiderich was thus; "A friend."

**- Death - **

They said life had three inevitable-- Life, Change, and Death. But... why was it that when Alfons Heiderich died, the world seemed just a little less bright? Al could only sit and hug his brother, trying to comfort him. He had lost someone close to him.

**- Paper -**

There was a small piece of paper posted on the refrigerator door. When Al got out of bed, Ed had long gone to work leaving only that note for his baby brother. Al noticed. It read, 'I couldn't think of what to write, since you were in bed. But, I thought this would work... I love you.' It was the highlight of his day.

**- Reach - **

One of Edward's biggest regrets was one he would never, ever speak out loud to a soul; if only he would've reached a little bit farther and grabbed Al's hand... Maybe he would've been able to pull him back. With or without, the point was, Al was still alive. And that was good enough for Ed.

**- Box - **

When Ed and Al were just small boys, perhaps six and seven, their mother received a package in the mail. It was a large package, and whatever was in it was held there by a very big box. After Trisha had taken the gift out of the box, she had told her sons that it would be fine if they used it. That was when that box became a castle, or a ship, or a mystical land where their make-believe was real.

**- Books - **

They had read somewhere that what they were doing was considered taboo... forbidden. Unnatural. It was something called Incest, and they knew it was wrong. What was more is that they were committing a double sin-- homosexuality combined with incest. But it wasn't as though they were promiscuous-- they lived for each other. _Fuck the books. _Ed had said. And they did.

**- Good Bye -**

The hardest thing for Al to do was say good-bye to someone or something. So it was especially hard for him having to say good-bye to the three kitties he had tried so hard to hide when Edward finally found them.

**- Confusion - **

And he stared, long and hard at Al's face, trying his hardest to decipher what it was that was being said. Confusion was etched over both their faces, Ed's mostly. But then Al repeated himself, "I love you, Nii-san." It was all the explanation Edward needed.

**- Angel -**

Edward wasn't too sure just what had brought his little brother back to him, or what outside force had worked its divine intervention in on his happiness-- but whatever it was, he simply liked to refer to it as an Angel. His own guardian angel that had brought his beloved Al back to him.

**- Calendar -**

One thing Alphonse liked to do the most was something he had never told anyone else about; he liked staring at the calendar, counting backwards, back to the day... a little over a year ago, when fate had forced him to confess everything to Ed. That was a special, marked day on that kitten Calendar. Little did he know that Edward also shared his hobby.

**- Guidance -**

Izumi-sensei had never abandoned them. In the end, both brothers credited her the most for influential purposes in their diminutive lives. She had provided the largest guidance and motivation, and both Ed and Al knew that she would've loved them just the same had she known what they were doing.

**- Days - **

And as the overcast sun begin to fade away into the horizon and the pale streetlamps came on, Alphonse watched from the front porch, his smile just a little down turned at the appearance of winter already in the air. Days seemed to fly away when there was the kind of happiness inside of his stomach that their had been lately. For one reason or another.

xx Owari xx

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**Closing Notes: **_All righty, so that was just some test-subject things. I really wanted to do something like this where I had to come up with a small paragraph and just let loose using one of the words I gave myself. These took FOREVER, and they're STILL lame. :weeps in the corner: Anyway, I wanted to let you know something. _

_... There's a little nifty button just underneath this sentence that says "Leave A Review." It's actually quite amazing. Guess what it does? Wow, you're good! It leaves a Review! And all you have to do is type it up. Its not that hard, my friends. ...CLICK IT NOW:leaves subliminal messages:_


	8. Cold

**Author's Notes: **_Just wrote this today. I think it's probably officially my favorite._

**Warnings: **_Implied Elricest, Angst. _

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_xx Cold xx_

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"Are we evil, brother?" the soft voice asked quietly as the rain pounded on the roof of the house with no mercy. It was cold. Far colder than it had been in previous weeks. This late autumn weather was filled with melancholy and regret.

It was something they hadn't wanted to face. But it was always there, laughing at them cruelly.

Edward turned over in their bed, his hair messed up from sleeping. It was nearly noon, and the sky held no blue; only endless gray clouds and rain that fell without care. He didn't look at Al. He simply watched as drops of water slid down the bedroom window disconsolately. The sorrow was so thick, so real. "No."

They hadn't wanted to face it.

His answer had been a lie. They both knew that.

"Yes, yes we are." Alphonse murmured into the pillow. His tears were dry now, but they still left his cheeks cold. Everything was cold now. Coldness was like a default sensation that came naturally and of its own accord. It was their way of life to be cold. Even the nearness of one another didn't keep them warm. "This isn't how love should be," he whispered, sadly. Fresh tears rose and sprouted over the corners of his eyes.

Cold.

Love was supposed to be guiltless. But their nature was of guilt. Just like their nature was to be cold.

"Is love supposed to be cold?" Ed asked, running frail fingers through Al's long, darkened tresses. "Does love even take a proper form, Al?"

They hadn't wanted to face it. It was too painful. But pain and suffering could also be a healer.

Sniffing, the younger Elric shook his head. "No, I suppose not." He grimaced a little and clenched against the bedspread. "But I don't want to give up on it. Maybe there's a way we can make this love warm. Maybe there's a way we can atone. Like we have before."

Ed smiled lightly, trying to look a little hopeful, although his words would betray that. "Al, this was our ultimate sin. Nothing can atone." Where would they have been otherwise?

There was no two ways. They were cold when they were with each other. But without each other... they were frozen.

However, the coldness in their love didn't make it anything less- it was still love. Regardless of where it derived.

Outside people lived, outside people died. Outside in this new world a battle raged, and blood was shed. Horrific things. Wasted dreams.

Inside their home they kept their secrets. But even when they ventured out, the guilt and cold was still within them. It reflected outward. It penetrated the heated barrier of happiness they once had.

Their love should never have come to be.

But it did.

And when Al reached out a little and entwined his fingers with Ed's, smiling anyway, they both thought that maybe they weren't completely gone. They both thought that perhaps they could find the warmth in a freezing cold world of ice.

x Owari x

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**Closing Note: **_I just was thinking of being cold, because I'm living with my mom now. And this place is always cold. And I thought of how melancholy the cold and rain is. So this was born._


	9. Jealousy

**Author's Notes: **_Aw, okay. So here's something I thought up when listening to The Kill. (3o Seconds to Mars.) Urgh. Which reminds me- that music video is AMAZING. I love it. It's based off of Stephen King's 'The Shining.' Which makes it sooo much better. That, and Jared Leto is absolutely gorgeous. Er... anyway, here. : pushes fanfiction toward hungry readers : _

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_xx Jealousy xx_

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Alphonse wasn't a normally jealous person.

In fact, he could sit patiently on the couch at night, his hands folded in his lap, and his mind wandering, all the while waiting for his beloved big brother to return home. He could be licking the blood from his bottom lip after getting into a fight with himself, he could be rubbing his eyes heavily trying to dry away non-existent tears. He could do anything.

Except watch Edward with another person. Another person who spoke of dreams, and believing in eternity with the person you love and the person you'd die for. And crumbling inside without them. . . Winry sure had a way with words.

And it made Al sick. It made his insides throb with depression and anxiety knowing that now it was too late. He could never tell the elder Elric how he'd felt for the past few years. How he'd yearned to be in his brother's arms, telling him his deepest emotions and how he craved the contact he'd never had. Ever. Distant and cold.

And so when Ed and Winry had begun seriously dating, Al couldn't possibly mask the evident jealousy written inside his bronze eyes. It was so very visible. After a night out, lipstick smeared across his brother's lips, eyes glazed over with a look of passionate euphoria. It drove him crazy, made him internally ill. And the condition only worsened when the two became engaged. When they started sleeping together on a nightly basis. When they became married. When they had a child. When . . .

It was too much after that. Jealousy has its limitations, much like every other emotion.

Al wasn't normally a jealous person. He was too good-natured, and loving, and _loveable _to ever wish ill harm on anyone. But that was before Ed was taken from him, slowly and agonizingly. His love struck mind couldn't even comprehend what it was like to feel the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach when the realization hit that his chance was gone. If he'd only acted a moment sooner, a second sooner, it all could've been his. Instead, he was always a step behind-- watching their receding footprints in the snow, chasing after them wearily, without the same vigor he once had fused in his passion for Edward. It had died along with his inability to feel jealousy.

Al wasn't normally suicidal either. . .

xx Owari xx

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**Closing Note: **_Wow, it's been a while, huh guys? Sorry for not posting in so long. I've been really into music!fanfiction lately. Odd. But anyway, those of you who gave me words to use, I'll still use them. I've just recently gotten my butt in gear with my fanfiction again. It took some re-reading of my old work, and RPing to start up again to get me into the mood. I love you all._


	10. Facsimile

**Author's Notes: **_So as I type this, it is currently a quarter till 4 AM. I have no clue why my brain was pressing me for this, but I figured it was completely essential. I haven't updated this damn story in forever, and I feel terrible about it. I still need to use the words people gave me. I'm sorry I haven't done that yet, either. Anyway, I hope this could be considered a consolation gift._

**Warnings: **_Spoilerskinda for the movie. Elricest. Ed/Hei. Al/Hei (If you squint.) Uhm . . . that's about it. Maybe Language? I don't know. I'm tired, bare with me. _

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Alfons stared in disbelief at the figure in front of him.

The resemblance was literally _uncanny._

Albeit, the eyes were of different color, as was the hair, but the face, and almost the very demeanor that the two males shared was mirrored in one another.

Al grinned a large, toothy grin that spread across his twelve year old mouth and lit up his entire face with a child like innocence that only he could possess. Those bronze eyes traveled all across his look-alikes body, and they held some kind of unidentifiable emotion.

Edward stood off to the side, pleased with himself. _Finally _the two Al's could meet face to face. This is what he'd been dreaming of since he first came to Munich, and fell into the soft lap of Alfons Heidrich. He swore to himself, the moment that he was reunited with his baby brother, he'd introduce him to his very own carbon copy.

In some respects, the two boys were exactly alike.

Alphonse had a very strong sense of compassion for living things, and the sweetest disposition you'd ever see on ANY teenage boy.

Alfons was the same way. He had a caring, loving part of him that was to be rivaled, and he was very tender-footed.

But then in some ways, the two Al's were _complete opposites._

The Elric could be completely devious and cold hearted if he needed to be, and sometimes just downright mean. (A trait that he seemed to have acquired from his beloved brother.) However, he was also very mysterious, and had a cunning sense about him that kept everyone around him guessing as to what it was that he really meant.

Heidrich was mysterious, yes, but very aloof about it. No one could ever catch on, and he was very inside of himself often. He wasn't outspoken, but he certainly could get his point across if the occasion called for it.

Edward walked over and placed a gentle hand on both boys' shoulder. "Well, what do you think? Pretty crazy, huh?" He smirked, eyes glancing from one Al to the other.

"He's beautiful." Alfons murmured, cerulean optics full of a profound wonder that he'd never known before. And almost instantly after he'd said it, he blushed and looked down. "I'm sorry, was that a little narcissistic of me?"

Ed let out a laugh, and ruffled his younger brother's hair, looking at him in the same fond way that Alfons had. "Not really. He _is _beautiful, isn't he?"

Al pushed his brother away and huffed at him. "You're too affectionate sometimes. You embarrass me."

"Hey, you better appreciate the affection, you little brat! Do you know how rare it is to come by? Almost NO ONE has seen me act all mushy and crap. You'd better be thankful you're my sibling!"

_"And your lover." _The older Al said, smirking devilishly.

"Yes, but I'm sure that title isn't reserved _specially _for me," Alphonse muttered glaring pitifully at Ed.

Edward's eyes grew wide. "And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Alfons began to get the hint, and like the cruel bastard that he could sometimes be, he slid his arm around Ed's waist and tugged him close. "I think this is what he means. Lord knows if you can't have one Al, you'll have the other."

There were other distinct differences about both Al's.

When Alfons Heidrich kissed Edward, it was very rough, very heated, very sexually induced. It was a far cry from loving, and far more into lustful. Passionate didn't seem to quite do it justice, but it held something along those lines. Those kisses were feverish, and often lead to clothes on the floor, bodies tangled, and a lot of sweat.

But when Alphonse Elric kissed his big brother, it was nothing like that. (It could be, but only on rare occasions.) When Al kissed Ed, it was soft- almost like a butterfly landing on your lips and then leaving just as quickly as it came. It would be shy, and gentle, and full of love and devotion and everything that the brother's stood for. There would be tongue, but only in the sense of sensual movements and silent promises of "Forever."

So when the two Al's met for the first time, Edward had his own chance to reflect on the pros and cons (Even though there weren't many cons) of his two lovers. Because he did, indeed, have two lovers.

Two wonderful, beautiful, loving, Al's that were always there for him if he needed someone to fall back on.

Then again, he also enjoyed playing favorites . . .

But I'll let that be something saved for a _different _fanfiction.

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_Okay, so review, please._

_Sorry if there were any grammatical errors. Give me a break. It's four o'clock in the fucking morning. _

_Hope you all have a wonderful Friday._


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